Sparky says:
“We’re home again now. We went to a reenackment (I think). A reenackment is where humans take carry-vans and other tiny houses and they all play together in a big field. It is exciting and scary and fun and boring.
He took my carry-van right to the end of the field and talked to the nice make-food ladies. Then He played with the carry-van and built a little house on the side of it. He put Sparky’s den in the little house and covered it with silver stuff. Rich Sparky!
More Humans came with their carry-vans, their dogs and their small Humans (I call them people-puppies). Then She (my other best Human) came too and we played Ball. There were lots of wopses and most of the Humans and some doggies got badly hurted. I wasn’t afraid because He is the Wopsfinder-General who kills wopses dead. But He got bitten by other nasty flying things instead and His legs went all spotty and fat.
Later, after the dark was switched on, some ‘Orses came on a lorry, but they had to get off the lorry and stand in a field of grass all night. Poor ‘Orses!
Next day all the Humans turned themselves into Soldiers. There are Good Soldiers and Bad Soldiers. The Good Soldiers ride the ‘Orses. Other Good Soldiers carry big sticks, but too big for even Sparky to fetch. Bad Soldiers have things like big doggy dinner cans that they hit with sticks, going bong, bong-a-bong bong, bong-a-bong bong – all day!
Sparky doesn’t like the bong-a-bongs, so he goes to his den or into the carry-van. Other Soldiers have sticks that go kerrrump!, then pop, pop, pop-pop. He laughs and says “Call that a vollee?” Sparky doesn’t laugh. But the Worst Soldiers have big toys on wheels that go fizzzzz-BOOOM!!!. Sparky needs to hide under the table for those.
For the first “battle” (even if it was a walkies away), Sparky hid in the Carry-Van. First I hid in the shower, but it was wet. So I hid in my bed, but then that was wet too. Then They came back so it was all right again. I had treats.
I found a new place to hide. It’s called “Damndogs-under-the-car”. It is safe. It is so safe that I shouted at Him to tell Him so when he tried to get me out. He said I could get burnted (Ouch-Sparky-Hot) if I did that sort of thing and if nobody knew. In the end I hid in my den until the noisybangs stopped.
Then everyone else went home and He went to bed in the carry-van. I looked after Him and in the morning we tidied all the toys and the little house away and took the carry-van home again. Then He had to take all His toys out again and put them in the where-we-live.”
General Whiskers' semi-historical wanderings 
Sparky also says:
“He spent a lot of time sitting a little house playing “Battlovwaterloo” on a little table with people puppies instead of playing Ball with me.