Don’t we all love those telephone calls that come right in the middle of something we are deeply engaged in, be it painting, modelling, reading or simply watching TV?
No, we don’t.
I have devised a quick question list for those annoying people, based on their own methods.
What is your reference number?
I see. Before we proceed I have to ask you a few security questions:
Your full name
The first line of your address
Your date of birth
Your mother’s maiden name
Thank you. How may I help with your enquiry?
In practice, I rarely get beyond line 2. Most hang up on line 1.
I have other methods. If it sounds entertaining I will keep them on the line for no tangible result. My best ever was someone offering me a better mobile telephone package than the one I had: handset provided by my employer and calls (within reason) paid for by my employer. He elaborated on the potential savings, etc., etc. Naturally I did not reveal my actual package for about 15 minutes. Then I was called “a naughty man who has wasted my time.” I replied that he had called me to waste my time and I thought we should compete on equal terms…. [click, silence].
My shorter response is: “If I did not call you, then clearly I do not need your services. Goodbye.”