What does your postman know about you?
Today I delivered my car for a post-accident financial check-up.
The body-shop manager greeted me in a friendly way. We actually occasionally meet as dog-walkers locally.
His first question was: “Have you walked the dog, and is he in the car?”.
His idea was that I could walk Sparky while his chaps examined the damage.
I replied that I had come prepared to walk Sparky home if they needed to hold the car.
He said: “Not all the way to xxxxxxx”
I looked surprised.
He said.: “No. 7 isn’t it. Mr Wisken? I used to be your postman.”
Unexpectedly I got a small courtesy car, with permission for Sparky to use the back seats (“He’ll be OK”).
In fact I made Sparky scramble into the boot area after folding the seats forwards.
But it was a lesson that not only computers know all about you, but also much friendlier local folks, and what can tell more about you than your postal deliveries??
Don’t we all love those telephone calls that come right in the middle of something we are deeply engaged in, be it painting, modelling, reading or simply watching TV?
No, we don’t.
I have devised a quick question list for those annoying people, based on their own methods.
What is your reference number?
I see. Before we proceed I have to ask you a few security questions:
Your full name
The first line of your address
Your date of birth
Your mother’s maiden name
Thank you. How may I help with your enquiry?
In practice, I rarely get beyond line 2. Most hang up on line 1.
I have other methods. If it sounds entertaining I will keep them on the line for no tangible result. My best ever was someone offering me a better mobile telephone package than the one I had: handset provided by my employer and calls (within reason) paid for by my employer. He elaborated on the potential savings, etc., etc. Naturally I did not reveal my actual package for about 15 minutes. Then I was called “a naughty man who has wasted my time.” I replied that he had called me to waste my time and I thought we should compete on equal terms…. [click, silence].
My shorter response is: “If I did not call you, then clearly I do not need your services. Goodbye.”