“Silent” fireworks

During the last week we in the UK have been suffering from an overdose of fireworks displays, both organised and impromptu.

As soon as fireworks appear in the shops, people seem to find the need to set them off at all hours of the night.

Traditionally “Bonfire night” was 5th November, when we remembered the dismembering of the catholic plotter against King James I,  Guido Fawkes, by burning his effigy on a bonfire, accompanied by fireworks.  All good, harmless, anti-catholic, anglican fun – hmm?!

As I remember, the fireworks were generally from a selection box, including a couple of rockets, launched from old milk bottles, that went “whoooosh!” and then fizzled out, a “volcano” that produced multi-coloured sparks,  a “rik-rak” or “jumping jack” banger (highly unpredictable) and a catherine wheel (remembering  yet another martyred catholic) which refused to spin unless prompted and occasionally gave a feeble whistle.

Nowadays it seems that the firework season starts as soon as the fireworks are available in the shops, sometime before halowe’en, and continues off and on until New Year.  Fireworks are now apparently confined to the status of multiple barrelled mortars with charges that explode spectacularly and noisily to the unnecessary annoyance of neighbours and their pets.

This year we witnessed a new phenomenon – fireworks without bangs.  Someone in our road managed to hold, a week before the normal date, an almost silent display.  Wonderful!   Unfortunately another neighbour compensated by letting off a ridiculously loud series of bangs at 12:45 a.m.

As the best friend of a dog who has spent the last three evenings quivering in the bathroom, can I please ask folks to adopt the silent variety?

Please?  Pretty Please?

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Incidentally, under UK law, when I had a licensed gunpowder store for 30Kg of black powder, I was not allowed to purchase a single firework if my store was full because it would infringe the terms of my license,  but anyone over 18 with no license could buy unlimited amounts of fireworks with no regulation whatsoever.

Considering the cost of application,  building work and further police checks needed for my powder store, I found this more than a little annoying.

 

 

Things ain’t like they used to was.

I am very disappointed with the quality of products nowadays. The latest to land on my disapproval list is Swan Vestas matches.

Apart from reducing the sandpaper from both sides of the box to one only, the company has also developed a detachable match head that flies off in preference to actually catching fire.

After trying to light my pipe this evening, here are the remnants of the vestas.

The pipe is still not lit.  I will try again with cooks’ matches.

Meanwhile I have five new pieces of 1/300 scale timber. 🙂

And, by the way, nostalgia isn’t as much fun as it used to be.