Today I have been playing with my local council. Last time I checked the website we had an agreement that large items of cardboard would be collected by the recycling lorry team if left beside the green bin and flattened.
Duly done, but after the bin men had visited, this was the remainder:
So I contacted the council via their website. I reported the incident, but then had to prove that I was a human. I decided to test whether my contact was a human.
Q. “What colour is grass?” A. “Grass Green (code 208).”
Q. “Is water wet or dry?” A. “Yes.”
Q. “Is fire hot or cold?” A. “Again, yes.”
Q. “What colour is snow?” A. “Initially, in quantity, white, becoming grey, brown or occasionally yellow.”
At this point I passed the “I am a human” test. I believe that my recipient did not. If it was a human, it was one with no sense of humour and limited logic.
Apparently I could take the cardboard to my “local” tip. My local tip is in a different administrative area and I am forbidden to enter. I could have taken the cardboard to the council tip, and burned about £6.00 of diesel, but preferred to burn it in my garden, enjoying my pyrotechnic tendencies and staying warm in the process. This cost me one match. I have not yet evaluated the comparative environmental consequences between burning 4-5 litres of diesel fuel against one large cardboard box, but I know which was more fun.